Jez's Blog

The Strange Story of How I Found a New Band

A Salute to My Influences

Celebrating Our Differences

Daring to Use the Four-Letter Word

What Is The Real Olympian Spirit?

Watching The Olympics Opening Ceremony

How Good Service Turned into a Speed Trip

Blurring the Line Between Fact and Fiction

How Creativity Keeps Moving On

How an Artist in the Kitchen Revealed my Inner 'Foody'

Synchronicity - an Everyday Sort of Magic

Does This Make You Laugh?

The Magic of Storytelling

How Good Design Serves the User

Learning to Love Creative Blocks

Creating The CLUB

How a Kiss Missed Its Target at a Posh Do

How Bob Dylan refused the Box labelled ‘Protest Singer’

The ‘Get Back in Your Box’ Syndrome

What’s all the fuss about?

Reflections on Learning and Teaching

The Third in my Triptych of Entries about Thought

Happily disconnected in Cornwall

The Best Way to Sell is to Do Something Well

Life is Good

Zen & the Art of Birdwatching

Celebrating Our Differences


                                                                                                                              Lila Pomerantz

I saw a great sketch recently on a rerun of a comedy show from the nineties called ‘Smack the Pony’. In it an accountant is talking to woman about her tax affairs; everything seems adult and normal until the money man starts using fiscal jargon like ‘Capital Gains’, ‘Payment on Account’ etc. As soon as the words leave his mouth a switch appears to go off in the lady’s head; she suddenly becomes tired, distracted, irritable and childlike. I laughed the laughter of recognition because that’s me to a tee. I can use logic when I need to but certain words and concepts related to figures and money just seem to blow a fuse in my head after a while. I’m of the George W. Bush persuasion when it comes to financial affairs (apparently he once said: 'It’s clearly a budget. It’s got lots of numbers in it.' Even the mathematical genius Albert Einstein is quoted as saying ‘The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax.’ I guess you’ve either got the sort of head which loves figures and spreadsheets or one that day dreams and makes up silly stories.


Luckily Dennis, my financial man at the bank is of the latter persuasion. Not only does he have the sort of brain which naturally relates to this stuff but he is also really good at explaining it to others. So for a while, with his help I have the feeling ‘I get it, I get it! I have applied myself and unlocked the mystery of this financial language.' The trouble is, my ability to hold this sort of stuff in my brain lasts for about an hour; after that I start to feel rather like the lady in the sketch and Dennis might as well be reciting a Hindu telephone directory to me. What’s makes Dennis very good at his job is the quality of patience of which he seems to have a never ending supply. (Is this part of his training?) As I ask him to repeat some explanation of how pensions work one more time, I am often wondering whether Dennis will suddenly just snap and lose his temper. But he never does. His patience seems to be always just greater than my fiscal thick headedness!


But this is how it works, isn’t it? I (and people like me) earn a bit of money so we can pay people like Dennis to explain to us things which we just don’t relate to like pensions, tax savings and why we have to pay VAT.  It’s good that we’re all different. I wrote about this in a poem called MY CLASS which appeared in my poetry collection Guess What Happened at School Today.  I’ll end by sharing it with you.

* Thanks to Lila Pomerantz for her wonderful drawing; here’s a link to her Mum’s site which  is a storehouse of international music and poems for children.





Even if you are one of a twin

We’re all of us different, outside and in.


Paul’s really tall and Noah is lower.

It’s not his fault, he just grows a bit slower.

Brenda is slender, Ida is wider,

Especially when Brenda sits down beside her.


Russell’s got muscles and so has big Jenny.

Tony is bony - he hasn’t got any.

Dale can look pale just like margarine,

Mark is quite dark and Dean’s in between.


Cliff is so stiff - have you seen how he sits?

Wendy is bendy - she can still do the splits.

Milly is silly while Brad is quite mad.

Miles often smiles but somehow seems sad.


Rudy is moody, he’s broody and sour,

Pete is just sweet like a delicate flower.

Trevor is clever, his head’s in the air.

Wayne’s got a brain but forgets that it’s there,


You’re not me and I’m not you,

I don’t look the way you do.

If the difference between us just wasn’t there

There’d be nothing to get and nothing to share.


So let’s celebrate the way that we grew -

What makes me, me

and what makes you, you.

You is all you’ve got to be

And all I’ve got to be

is me.

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All content © Jez Albrough 2008 - present unless otherwise stated.